I am sure at some point I was in denial about my sugar addiction. That denial has been gone for a long time.
I have fully embraced my addiction for most of my adult life.
I have always a little squishy around the edges – never stick thin – but not overweight. How is that for a description? I foolishly though that just because ‘I looked okay’ – that I was okay. I am still not sure how un-okay my insides might be, but I am aware of the damage that is occurring in there.
Damo has for many many many years been trying to get me to cut down on my sugar consumption. I mean really – if it is sweet – or sour – I want it in my belly. Now. And lots and lots and lots of it.
Earlier this year I had a new friend basically drag me along to the Bendigo Cinema in Victoria – to see a movie. Not just a movie – ‘That Sugar Film’. I was reluctant, apprehensive and stubborn. I sat in a cinema surrounded by water toting, apple eating people enjoying my mega huge extra sugar Coca Cola and munching on my over-sized Popcorn. I want you to know that I thoroughly enjoyed every second of my yummyness.
There is ALWAYS a but. I watched Damon Gameau eat his way through the ‘healthy’ food in I would see ‘dieters’ eat. I don’t do diets. Ever. Never have and never will. I am not in it for weight loss. I am comfortable in my own skin. But watching these so called healthy foods impact – so dramatically – on his health started to make me squirm. I was also growing a human. I was sitting there pigging out – rubbing my belly – and had this new awareness dawning upon me.
The UP down UP down UP down cycle of my days/ nights/ life. Mapped out right in front of me with the explanation of sugar addiction. It had never actually occurred to me that the desire/ craving/ necessity for sugar was what caused my emotional turmoil and brain fog. I knew the addiction was there – I thought it was simply craving/ then feed it. Not that the sugar affects blood sugar levels that influence all different reactions in the body.
I thought brain haze was normal. I thought it was part of being an adult
My sugar addiction was in control of my emotionally messy self
In the cinema I was sitting in the very back row, right on the right hand stage. We were a little late – having traveled over an hour and a half to get there. I felt like the naughty kid sitting in the back row. By the time it was done, I KNEW I was the naughty kid. I was actually surrounded by a family of young children who were making better dietary choices than I was. *oh the shame* I remember asking Damon, quite honestly and meaning it fully – ‘Being 30 weeks pregnant, tell me, honestly, is the withdrawal going to kill me?’
Apparently the answer was no. Take a few minutes to watch the trailer.
Right – I will tell you about my attempts at kicking the sugar to the curb over a series of blog posts.
That’s enough for now. I need a sugar hit. I kid… I kid… do you know that the desire for sugar is often a sugar addicts body needing hydration. How about that… you can no longer recognize the need for water. All you think about is that sugary heady rush. I am off for a tall, cool glass of H2O. (Oh Em Gee. I think I might be becoming one of ‘THEM’)